I'M STILL STANDING...
Okay in all honesty, I'm sitting right now. With a backache, but at least the heart ache has subsided.
A couple of days ago it was a completely different story, I was having another one of those published writer wanna be pity parties.
This after I tried to sound so encouraging about knowing my call to write in my last post. Amazing how one reacts in the midst of the storm.
And I had planned to act so much more mature about it.
Got another rejection for Trail of the Sandpiper. Thought I'd handled it so well, then the next day hit and ... well, I found myself in a slump. All those stupid questions about whether writing was really worth it fluttered around in my brain, like birds at the wharf looking for a good meal. I tried to fend them off, but they landed and started to feed.
I let them feast for a time, while I whined to my husband. He must really love me.
We go through this more times than I care to admit. I come away telling myself it will be different next time, I won't complain, I won't pout.
HA. I did all those things and more. I hate to admit it.
Then, like all the times before, I said a prayer, squared my shoulders and started in to writing again.
Isn't that life? Whether writing or just living, when the storm hits, the vast majority of us, cower down and hope the storm doesn't hit too hard. When we should hunker down and pray. And if we must cower, do it for a time in the Lord and remember he guards and has our best interest at heart.
Perhaps, if I'm totally honest with myself, Believing that the Lord has my best interest at heart, trusting in the fact that he's not just putting me through these things and laughing is hard for me.
I've seen others and think they're just skating on through without the expending the energies I have. All the while not wanting to see the people who have to expend more. Isn't that so human of me?
I have a plan and by my account, it's a pretty good one. I've said that before and been slapped by what I thought was pretty good.
But God's plans are different.
He created my plan and knows what he wants me to become. He can see the end result, while I, petulant child that I can be, see the moment and what I wish I had. NOW.
The God of my storm, Is the God of the universe, the universe I live in, so he must have some idea about what he's doing.
That's my story and I'm sticking to, at least until the next rejection comes along.