So here it is January 4th already.
Most of my future is unknown and I can look out blithely, naive to what lies ahead, leaving myself free to take trusting steps through each day, knowing God has fashioned my future. Or I can face it with great trepidation, with a fear that weighs me down so much I refuse to move, and lose countless opportunities and days because of it.
That is my choice.
I hope I am wise and choose to trust more than not.
But... there is another type of future well, sort of... have you ever had part of your future staring you in the face? Careening toward you like a full length color movie, with such precision you can see the reality that is about to happen, but you are helpless to stop it?
So you pray and it still looms, and pray more and more, but you wonder if your prayers even pass the ceiling or if God is listening.
Yes, I know I should have faith, and at times, though its a touch feeble, I do. That is why I continue to pray. I pray for things to change and for this future not to happen. All the while knowing, as clearly as the sun rises, it's coming.
I'm not sure of the exact moment. But I have to prepare. Because it something we all have to deal with at some point in time. I have to accept it. Even though I don't want to. I have to deal with it, regardless of my feelings.
This part of my future holds sorrow. I'm certain. And it will force me to say goodbye. To trust that God will carry someone I love. To trust that God will sustain me through it. And I have to trust that God has a plan and soon I will be able to say hello again because of it.
This future, holds what seems like only tears. But I know I must look beyond the veil of sorrow and find the joy. And I know, when the time come, I won't grieve alone. I'll be surrounded by those I love.
And God will gather our tears.
He keep track of all my sorrows.
He collects all my tears in his bottle.
And records each one in his book.
And they that sow in tears, will reap in joy.
May you, even in the hardest times, find joy throughout this coming year and beyond.
May you face each moment assured that God is with you and you never walk alone.