Saturday, January 25, 2014

How do you tell a Mother goodbye?

To Laura…
My beloved mother
August 27, 1941-January 18, 2104

How do you tell a mother goodbye?
by Tina Pinson

How do you tell a mother goodbye,
when the word carries such finality, just to think about it
breaks your heart and makes it hard to breathe?

How do you tell a mother goodbye,
when you know you'll no longer hear her voice
or hear her whispered prayer?

How do you tell a mother goodbye,
if means letting go of someone who has loved, carried,
and consoled you since birth?

How do you tell a mother goodbye,
though it means saying so long to a friend who accepted and loved you
even when you were unlovely?

How do you tell a mother goodbye,
when it means a chapter in your life is ending and you wonder if you possess
the wherewithal to turn the page?

How do you tell a mother goodbye
when you know she won't walk through the door again now matter how much
you wish it or how long you hold your breath?

How do you tell a mother goodbye
when you know she'll no longer be there to dry your tears
or soothe your hurts?

How do you tell a Mother goodbye?

You don't…

You tell her See You Later and you carry her in your heart and memories
with the hope you see her again in Eternity,
and she'll be waiting there to greet you with loving arms open wide.

See you later, Mom.

All my love, Tina

Saturday, January 04, 2014

The Future...

So here it is January 4th already.

My Goodness.

Most of my future is unknown and I can look out blithely, naive to what lies ahead, leaving myself free to take trusting steps through each day, knowing God has fashioned my future. Or I can face it with great trepidation, with a fear that weighs me down so much I refuse to move, and lose countless opportunities and days because of it.

That is my choice.

I hope I am wise and choose to trust more than not.

But... there is another type of future well, sort of...  have you ever had part of your future staring you in the face? Careening toward you like a full length color movie, with such precision you can see the reality that is about to happen, but you are helpless to stop it?

So you pray and it still looms, and pray more and more, but you wonder if your prayers even pass the ceiling or if God is listening.

Yes, I know I should have faith, and at times, though its a touch feeble, I do. That is why I continue to pray. I pray for things to change and for this future not to happen. All the while knowing, as clearly as the sun rises, it's coming.

I'm not sure of the exact moment. But I have to prepare. Because it something we all have to deal with at some point in time. I have to accept it. Even though I don't want to. I have to deal with it, regardless of my feelings.

This part of my future holds sorrow. I'm certain. And it will force me to say goodbye. To trust that God will carry someone I love. To trust that God will sustain me through it. And I have to trust that God has a plan and soon I will be able to say hello again because of it.

This future, holds what seems like only tears. But I know I must look beyond the veil of sorrow and find the joy. And I know, when the time come, I won't grieve alone. I'll be surrounded by those I love.

And God will gather our tears.

He keep track of all my sorrows.
    He collects all my tears in his bottle.
    And records each one in his book.

                                                    Psalm 56:8

And they that sow in tears, will reap in joy.
                                                    Psalm 126:5

May you, even in the hardest times, find joy throughout this coming year and beyond.
May you face each moment assured that God is with you and you never walk alone.