Monday, February 22, 2010

The Queen of Sophistication

I am sophistication personified.  I am a walking testimonial to grace and elegance.

I am a big liar.

Okay... I aspire to be seen as someone who has her act together. But what is one to do when their own body gives their lack thereof away? 

Some might say I have two left feet. Au Contrare. My feet are a perfect set. Unfortunately, they each have a mind of their own. Put me in stilettoes and watch me 'dance'.

I am tripped up by my own two feet, sidewalk cracks and shadows. I've tripped over wind, fallen on air and did the Miss Congeniality splat more than I care to mention

The harder I try to Runway Walk it, the worse it seems to get.

I've been stuck in road tar, stuck in the hem of my dress, stuck in mud.

I fell into an open manhole.

A manhole?  Who falls into a manhole?

If it were just my clumsy feet, I might be okay, but...

I've gone to school with panty hose hanging out my pants. come out of the bathroom with my skirt in my pantyhoses. Tracked toilet paper down the hall. Broke a red pen (or two) when I sat down and forgot it was in my front pant's pocket. Broke a blue pen when I sat down and forgot it was in my back pocket, broke a black... you get the gist.

I've spent many a days tying my shirt around my waist for other reasons than I was warm.

I've sat in enough food and spilled enough on my person to feed a third world country.

Even nature knows my name or target. I've been pooed on by more birds than I care to mention. I've taken to telling friends they'd do better to walk a few paces away from me or in the least carry an umbrella.

I've been thrown by horses and chased by bats, bit by dogs and clawed by cats. (golly I'm a poet)

What I've shared is a short list of my personal pitfalls.  I could fill volumes.

Invaritably these things happen when I'm in the mist of company or many times while trying to catch the eye of a school crush. (That's a story all in itself.)

You may wonder why I share these foibles. 

Maybe it's because my lack of sophistication is one of the reasons I love to write.

When I write, no one can see that I can't walk a straight line and chew gum.

When I write, the words flow and carry me away to new worlds, places beyond my clumsiness. I can formulate a sentence and not trip over my tongue.

When I write I find grace at my fingertips, elegance in my characters.

I am no longer the klutz vying for a hint of sophistication, I am the story teller, ruler over the minions that reside in my stories, queen of an imaginary realm.

And perhaps I share these things to remind you if God can use me, he can use you.

Write on...

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