Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Happy Birthday to me...

As a kid, I couldn't wait for my birthday. There would parties and gifts and friends and fun. And each year that past made me wonder what the next year might be.

My life spread out before me like a mystery. I dreamed of what I might become.

I wanted to be a veterinarian, until I realized you had to deal with blood.

I wanted to be superwoman, to save the world. Really I just wanted to fly and have all those cool super powers. There was no end to what superwoman could do. Except for Krypton, I would be invincible.

I wanted to be a genie, like Jeannie, pretty much for the same principle as being superwoman. Jeannie could do anything. She could get herself in and out of trouble with a snap. And it would be nice to blink and clean my room or go wherever I wanted. Homework would be a breeze, and I could live in a tiny little bottle and not be disturbed. (Unless someone capped said bottle and made me their Genie slave) I could help the world.

I wanted to be an actress. The next Doris Day, singing and dancing across the stage, my name in lights. Of course to be that, one had to know how to dance. I had the singing down, but only as long as I was alone. Put me on stage and I'd freeze like a deer in headlights. So I had to set that dream aside.

I had other aspirations like becoming an archeologist, trekking through lust jungles, uncovering lost civilizations. Had to give that up when I realized I had to go into dark tunnels. Claustrophobic as I am, I'd probably come out screaming, if I ever went in. And let's not discuss spider webs and the beasties that make them.

I wanted to be a princess, (well really queen,) so I could rule the world. And if a charming prince were thrown into the mix, that might be okay as well.

I wanted to be an astronaut and travel to the stars, float around in a tube, seek out strange new worlds and…

I wanted to be dropped off back in time and become a gunslinging cowgirl.

And I'm excited to say that I've become all those things. Okay I've managed it because as a writer. I take day trips to places the human me can never go.

Now that I'm older, I don't spend my life wondering what I'll become.

(That's not to say that I don't have some dreams, because there are still things I'd like to do. Become a best selling author. Have a book become a movie. Become a photographer. President.)

Now, I spend more time wondering what I've done and whether or not my life has amounted to anything. To any of the dreams I had for me. Any of the Dreams God had for me. Did I use my time wisely? Did I glorify my creator?

Have I left a legacy? I realize I'll probably only be a brief blurb in history, (and that could be thinking big again) but will it a kind blurb? A blurb worth mentioning?

Will the life I've lived matter in time? Will the life I've lived touch others?

Only time will tell...

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