Friday, May 11, 2012

Mother's Day & Memories

Ah… Mother's Day. It reminds me of all the years I said I would never be like my mother. Fact is I can still maintain that stance, and I've paid everyone off who might say otherwise.

It's that day I remind my children how much I had to sacrifice for them and how they wouldn't be here if I hadn't carried them for two years, trudging on stairs upwards both ways, going through long bouts of morning sickness, caring for them in my womb and giving them life because I love them.

It reminds me of all my mother went through at home. Because my sisters were sooo bratty... :-) 

Mom was married at fifteen. By the age of 23 (I believe) she had five daughters to raise. She went at it with gusto, turning us into proper ladies, well she tried. She used to make our clothes so we could all look alike right down to our bouffant hairdos. 

She wanted us to dress like young ladies, so most times made sure we wore dresses. 
Which was bane to my existence. How was a proper lady supposed to climb trees or hang up side down on the monkey bars without showing off their underwear?
I found a pair of shorts under your dress solved many a problems and you could hang upside down as much as you wanted. Well... until your chest hung out.  

       Mom, taught us how to cook, and sew and clean. Boy did we clean...  
       She thought we should sing together as a family so we started Seven for Heaven, (I believe was the name...) We'd get gussied up in yet another outfit that made us look like dolls in a row. (All except dad of course) And we'd stand in our line from tallest to shortest and sing. We actually had a song that had seven verses. One for each of to Sing. Sing. Sing.

       I have a lot of memories of my mother and family. Like any family, not all of them are good. but most.  Memories like that don't just happen everyday.

Mothers make sure a lot of them are made.

Mother's Day reminds me of all the stretch marks I have from carrying my children. Some of them are recent and my children are grown men.

Mother's Day is also a day of reflection as I stop and wonder if should have stopped at one child or perhaps used better birth control.

NO... it makes me wonder if I could have been a better mother. I realize I can't go back and change time. Don't know that I'd want to, but I can take a look at myself now and see how I can be a better mom, better woman today. How can I be a better daughter, so my mother knows she means the world to me?

Some History about Mother's Day.

Anna Jarvis started pushing for Mother's Day in 1899. It was important to her that it be called Mother's Day, even down to the placement of the apostrophe. That was to signify that it was a celebration in the family and the nation. Mother's Day was finally adopted and signed into law by US President Woodrow Wilson in 1914. Several countries around the world celebrate Mother's Day, but not always on the same day.

By 1920 Anna Jarvis wasn't too happy about the commercialization of the day.

Who Knew? Mother's Day is big business. Every one who is anyone, has a mother. And if only 1/3 of those buys something for their mother's someone can get rich.

Card, candy and flower companies bring in hefty revenue. Restaurants will bring in some tidy sums too.

But Mother's Day should be more than a slick commercial. gimmick More than child's sales pitch of love to their mom.

So what is mother's day? The one day a year mothers get to rest from work and worry? Yeah right. Maybe from work, (for a few) but rarely from worry.

For some Mother's Day this whole special day has been set aside to honor them by their family, just a extra perk for the year through which they were cherished and loved daily.

They will be whisked away to breakfast, dinners, movies, picnics. Their house will be cleaned. Their chores will be done. The family will gather just to say I love you.

Sadly Mother's Day is, for some women, a farce. A lie. One in which they tell themselves they are loved and remembered and their children are coming to visit because they hold her in high esteem. Unfortunately, it the only time of the year (and maybe Christmas) she'll hear from her children. 

A lot of children try to make up for a year in a day. And once they've appeased the savage beast of guilt within them with cards or presents and some time sacrifice, they go on their merry way, forgetting her until some holiday rolls around. Until another year passes and everyone remembers mom.

Some women don't hear anything at all.

For some it's a day of sorrow because this day reminds them of the mother who passed away, who they miss. But because of their love for her, they will honor that day by doing something special in her. Telling others about the woman who gave them life and raised them.

So what is the best gift to give a mother? Okay, I like the clean house, the cards and presents and the diamonds and rubies and cars and mansions and…

I love the time with the children. The laughter. The love. The memories we make together.

I love being around my children and am honored they bring their children around me. I am honored when they seek my advice and hope they realize I pray for them. I love watching my children grow and move on in life. They may think it's silly, because they are grown men, but I love sometimes just to hear their voice, to stop and watch and revel in the fact that those beautiful men were given to me by God to raise. I love to be crushed in their arms for a hug and hear them say I love you, Mom and know that the words spoken are true, and not just offered because it's Mother's Day.

My mother is still alive, and this is the first year in many that I will be away from her because we moved a few states away. I call her often to let her know I love her. Call her to let her know she's been on my mind.

And I'll call her for Mother's Day. What will we talk about? I don't know. Our week. Our life. Maybe some of our hurts. But I will most certainly say I love you. And hope she knows I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

Happy Mother's Day to you mothers out there.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. I love you.

For some other mother's day memories... 


Celia Yeary said...

Tina-what a beautiful, heartfelt post about your mother, and yourself, too. You have a wonderful family, and yes, God has blessed you. I hope you get lots of hugs, kisses, and phone calls today. You deserve them.

Tina Pinson said...


thank you so much for stopping in and commenting. I hope you have a lovely day as well.